For Your Protection
by Cat in the Window
Summary: It's a beneficial arrangement for both parties. Hogwarts gets three body guards masquerading as students; Konoha gets a place to hide a couple very wanted teenagers away from enemy hands. Sasuke just wishes the mission didn't involve waving around a stick. Established SasuSaku.


There's zero excuse for this story. I tried to write it in a way that makes as much sense as possible, given the ridiculousness of the situation.

I tweaked the cursed seal just a bit for a better excuse. Naruto is the canon divergence point; for Harry Potter, really the only difference until this point is that in canon, Hogwarts doesn't accept exchange students. Well, I didn't want this so come out of nowhere, so it's a rare, but not unheard of thing.

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**Prologue: **The Politics and Economics of Protection

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Everyone outside his age group knows that Uchiha Sasuke isn't right in the head. From what Tsunade's managed to gather, that was true ever since his parents' death, and only worsened in the aftermath of his kidnapping. So, it was no surprise she met slight resistance to making him a chuunin only three months after his rescue, but it was nothing in comparison to what she faced five weeks ago when she advanced him to a jonin. That said, he's so undeniably skilled that it didn't take long for even the most doubtful elder to calm down about it.

She thought that was going to be the worst complaint she'd have to deal with for at least another few years. But now Naruto's returned, and the Akatsuki are after him for some ritualistic sacrifice, and Orochimaru openly attempted to steal back Sasuke too close to Konoha's borders for comfort. If it were up to Tsunade, she'd send the two of them, along with Sakura and Hatake, after the Akatsuki and Orochimaru themselves, since they're certainly good enough, but no. No, apparently the goddamn Council had a meeting behind her back, and "for the good of the village," Sasuke and Naruto need to be hidden away somewhere that no one can find them. Truly, that panel of idiots have outdone themselves in terms of stupidity.

Did they miss the part where both the Akatsuki and Orochimaru have been active in every country there is? That they have eyes and ears everywhere? That Naruto still needs to take his chuunin exam? Oh, and that Sasuke effectively has a _goddamn tracker on his shoulder?_

Clearly they all thought this through just so well.

Unfortunately, she needs to do something about this, but keeps coming up blank, which is how she ends up with Jiraiya in her office after hours, sharing sake and trying not to discuss intrastate assassinations instead. "We can't just keep them here," she says when she finishes explaining. "It leaves Konoha too open for invasion. Not to mention Naruto will run off to face down the Akatsuki on his own - Sasuke will follow him, of course, because fuck Uchiha Itachi, and Sakura would go, too, and really. I should be sending them on a preemptive strike mission, not hiding them away."

There's at least some satisfaction in the fact that Jiraiya doesn't look much happier about this than she feels. "Naruto won't leave easily, not when Konoha's at risk," he says. "Or at least not without a damn good excuse. Is there anyway to send the whole team on a mission?"

Oh, if only. Naruto just returned, but from what she's heard of his performance during the rescue of the Kazekage, his two and a half year training paid off. Sasuke might only be fifteen, but he's one of the best shinobi active in Konoha. Then there's Sakura, who Tsunade thinks might surpass even her one day, and half the time the girl seems to be the only one keeping her boyfriend together, while all their skills play off each other better than most. Team Kakashi is perfect for each other, and she can't just _lose_ them. What a waste of raw talent, monetary opportunity, and, if she finds a mission, her absolutely lovely apprentice.

"That's exactly what I'm _not_ supposed to do," she tells her friend, and drains her cup of sake. "And where am I supposed to put Sasuke that Orochimaru can't just use that cursed seal to find him? This is the first time he's gone himself since the chuunin exam, and he's not some normal Oto-nin cell. They can't kill him that easily."

As she pours herself more sake, Jiraiya says, "What if you got them off the continent? I still exchange letters with Minerva."

Tsunade pauses. Though she's never left, Hiruzen did before he became their sensei, and later Jiraiya did for ten months not long before she ran. Every few decades or so, those...foreigners call on their help, but she doesn't think the situation's ever been reversed. Besides, the idea of throwing Naruto somewhere with a different language sounds like a laughably bad idea, and getting Sakura and Sasuke to believe that "magic" exists sounds even more annoying.

"No," she says, barely having to think about it. "Do you really think I'd get approval to pay someone to protect those two anyway?"

Even after two and a half years, Konoha's still suffering economically from Orochimaru's attack, despite Suna paying reparations. Jiraiya, unconvinced by obvious practicality, says, "Minerva's been giving me updates of what's going on there. It shouldn't be too hard to offer our protection for the school in exchange. Who knows? Maybe magic will even have a way to remove Sasuke's seal that ninjutsu doesn't."

Though Jiraiya's been back three weeks, he spent a long enough time with Naruto that he must have nearly as good of a rundown of Team Kakashi as she does. At the same time, she knows a slightly different Sakura and Sasuke than their friend, because the boy might not have been right to begin with, but he's worse, while the girl got a confidence boost. "You do realize who you're suggesting putting into a place with a bunch of children, right?" she says, crossing her arms. "Jiraiya, Sasuke is suffering from years worth of psychological trauma. Sakura has one of the quickest tempers I've ever seen, and Naruto's a clueless, overprotective Jinchuriki. This would be an explosive tag waiting to go off."

With a shrug, Jiraiya says, "You wouldn't have promoted Sasuke and Sakura if they couldn't keep their head during a mission. Now you're just making excuses for the sake of being stubborn."

"Those missions are a year long! With children!"

"Tsunade, what else are you supposed to do with the seal involved?" As much as she doesn't want to admit it, he has a point. Nowhere here is safe. "At least let me contact them. I think this is as pointless as you do, but Hogwarts is better than trying to hide those two away somewhere here and leaving them as sitting ducks. And I might not know the other two, but Naruto never stopped talking about them. Imagine if Itachi found them."

Her eyebrow twitches. "I'll have to send Sakura too, to keep it a full team," she says, and he nods. "The moment they're gone, you're looking into the Akatsuki. We're going to do a complete attack if we don't want them gone longer than the school year."

Orochimaru is more complicated, but not having Sasuke will decrease his chances of surviving in six months. If she remembers correctly, there's also no way to leave without a foreigner's assistance. If they actually agree, how is she supposed to explain this to the three of them? The others might have some vague knowledge of the Hidden Continent in their books, but the same can't be said for here.

After Jiraiya agrees, and exits, she heads to the office shelves. To explain this to Sasuke, she should probably get the books they _do_ have as proof. His Sharingan will allow him to memorize the information within a matter of days, and he'll be able to teach the others.

This might be a disaster waiting to happen, but it's really starting to seem like it's the one option available to them.

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A meeting is arranged, and Minerva and her boss appear in the office at four sharp, with the woman able to speak their language due to something called a "translation charm." Tsunade doesn't know what that means exactly, but it's better than having to use this Dumbledore Albus as a mediator if they need to speak to each other. There's that, at the very least.

Again, she explains, this time keeping her anger in check, and when she finishes, the old man says, "I see your dilemma, Hokage-san. It's very to similar to one of own. Jiraiya, years ago, came as a protection at the very height of our enemy leader's power. Now, Voldemort's regained strength, and I suppose your team would be a help precaution against him and his followers."

Minerva sends him an incredulous look, and Tsunade understands her not being happy with this. At one point the woman may have struck up a friendship with Jiraiya, but the fact remains that apparently their society is less violent, with a considerable longer amount of time devoted to childhood. "My partner partner informed me of what he knows of your situation, Dumbledore-san," Tsunade says. "_Your_ targeted boy is roughly the same age as our two. As it would be an official, multi-nin mission, their teammate Sakura would also be sent. She's a medic, and it's a precaution of our own."

The way Tsunade sees it, that's something she should explain now, as hopefully she can arrange some form of payment for her team. After taking a glance at her boss, the other woman says, "Do you have their, er, files? We should know who we're to protect. Hire."

"What information I release depends on the mission type," Tsunade answers. "They're three of our most skilled. That's all you need to know for now. Anything you want them to do, they can easily handle."

Strictly speaking, this isn't true, but Konoha really does need the money, and more than one client has demanded Sasuke and Kakashi due to their eyes over the past year. If she's going to lose one of them, she's going to get as much out of it as she can, even if it means playing around with official ranking. Maybe that makes her a bad person, but it's for the good of Konoha. Prices of everyday goods won't decrease on their own, and as Hokage, she has an economy to protect.

With her blank face and guarded mind, the foreigners easily believe her. "We'll discuss it further once we decide what the sort of mission we need," Dumbledore says, "but I do believe business can be done. One can never have too much protection, I say. And yes, we will see what we can do about the boy's seal. Magic has way of removing curses."

"Thank you, Dumbledore-san," she says, and means it. The seal's quickly become a problem, and hasn't made Sasuke's recovery any easier. "He'll will appreciate it. When will I see you again?"

They arrange another meeting, and this better work, because the Hokage murdering village elders is frowned upon no matter how justified. She'd rather avoid disgrace and incarceration, after all, and she doubts it would help, anyway.

.

Roughly twenty years ago, when Minerva had already been a professor for nineteen years, Voldemort became a formidable enough threat that after long discussions between the Minister and Dumbledore, Hogwarts got itself a guard. This lasted two years, though each were different, and the idea stopped abruptly after the second one, who was significantly younger, was caught having sex with an underage student. But Jiraiya came first, and though she'd been wary of him due to his openly displayed weapons and strange culture in the beginning, they gradually became friends. He lived in the professor's quarters down the hall from her, so speaking to each other was inevitable, and once his time was up at the end of the year, they decided to keep talking. Letters are rare, but they come, and they tell each other probably more than they should.

Despite their friendship, she doesn't like the idea of introducing anymore shinobi into Hogwarts when it's already in such a precarious position. "Do you remember the last one?" she says once the two of them are back in his office. "Now _they're_ the ones who're are underage."

It isn't just that, of course; as of now, nothing in particular has happened yet, but the _Daily Prophet_ has come out with more than a few snide comments regarding Albus, Potter, or the school. This doesn't seem to be leading in a terribly favorable direction. Her friend, though, is taking this much too lightly, because all he says is, "I believe they've helped us enough that it's time we returned the favor."

She tries a different approach. "Jiraiya said one of them has a demon inside of him."

"According to the letter you showed me, he also said the boy had it under control," Albus says. "Minerva, Hogwarts truly could use the protection. Our wards are not unbreakable. There's no proof that Voldemort won't stage an attack."

Frowning, she says, "He hasn't even come out into the open, Albus. Do you really think he will this early?"

"More likely now than later," her friend says, tapping his fingers together, "especially since Harry is more vulnerable in his school years. A student just entering fifth year simply doesn't have the skill."

With the exception of perhaps Miss Granger, this is very true. But that doesn't mean they need to resort to people who are, for a lack of a better term, murderers. "They'll expect payment," she says, trying to think of anything else she can. "As the protection is mutual, that seems a bit unfair."

Again, Albus doesn't seem concerned as he says, "I'm sure we can find some sort of compromise. Half price, perhaps?"

There's going to be no way out of this. They've been conversing not even five minutes, and she already sees that. He really does believe this is the best protection, and maybe if the Ministry weren't acting so standoffish, she would agree. "Don't we have a sheet explaining the price of the different types of missions somewhere?" she says, relenting. "We should at least find what fits our requirements now."

If they're going to do this, they might as well select the cheapest, she thinks. It doesn't make much sense that they're paying to protect someone else, and she doubts the Ministry would accept any proposal they make to supply them with the funds. And as it's mutual protection, shouldn't they cancel each other out? Then again, Jiraiya has mentioned something about Konoha having financial trouble. Given how skilled these three supposedly are, it doesn't make much sense for them to be sent off without the situation being more dire than her friend makes it sound. No, she's just being stubborn, worrying for Albus, who's always cared less about his reputation than he should, when that's what's keeping him here.

Albus summons the sheet, which turns out to be a carefully tied scroll like the ones Jiraiya used to carry. It's written out in both the Hidden Continent's version of Japanese (of all the languages they could speak, she thinks, but keeps it to herself), and English, with price conversion they can find in Gringotts. The money must be gathering dust by this point. Not many witches and wizards are willing to call on shinobi for assistance, though it's not as rare as one would think. She knows the Ministry almost did for this year, but scrapped the idea at the last minute due to the expense of the Triwizard Tournament, and the World Cup within the same year.

The price breakdown comes in three different categories: the ranking they need, the level of shinobi, and the type of mission. "Well, we won't know the team's levels until we see the files," she says, reading over the scrolls. "You Know Who is too dangerous for the lower rankings. A-level?"

"I would seem so," Albus answers, eyes zipping back and forth. "I highly doubt they'll engage Voldemort directly. Assassination is unnecessary, and too dangerous." It's also has the largest number next to it, she sees. "I imagine infiltration is disguising themselves as students. Both Jiraiya and Hiruzen were hired for protection."

Infiltration costs less, presumably due to not revealing their identity to the world. "They could pretend to be exchange students," she says. "It wouldn't be the first time Hogwarts accepted students for the year."

It would be the first time they accepted exchange students during a time of conflict. Right as she realizes it makes little sense, Albus says, "The Ministry has yet to accept reality. We can say it's a favor to a dear friend, which isn't too far from the truth."

While this seems flimsy, it's the best they can come up with without needing to make a government proposal. There's still one one, very obvious, very necessary question, though. "Are they protecting the school as a whole, or will they have a focus?"

Albus is quiet for a long moment before he says, "The school in its entirety, though I suppose they could pay particular attention to Harry. Trouble does seem to find him."

She still can't believe they're doing this, but she nods. "We'll explain everything tomorrow, then."

"Yes, I suppose we will."

They haven't even arrived yet, and something already tells her this is a very bad idea.

.

After Tsunade lies through her teeth, adjusts a file, and works out the details, she calls in Sasuke first. "Do you still want to be an ANBU?" she asks bluntly, and confusion crosses over his face for a second before quickly disappearing. Sakura told her just a week ago that once she and Naruto also become jonin, they want to form their own ANBU team.

"Yes," Sasuke answers, and she pulls the spare mask she could find from her desk drawer before tossing it to to him. For a moment, he stares at it, before saying, "Why?"

Since she sees no point in lying, she says, "I'm sending your team, with the exception of Kakashi, on a long term mission. Complications mean it's only going to cost us half-price. Each new rank costs more money, so you've just advanced to ANBU. On probation, of course. Congratulations, Taka."

It's a cheap move, but he's skilled enough for it anyway. Or at least that's her justification. If they had more than one nature transformation, Naruto and Sakura would be too, but unfortunately, neither of them are past chuunin level yet. That's a limitation she can't get across - just like she can't get around the fact that Naruto never passed his chuunin exam. If he had, if he wasn't still a genin, then she never would have advanced Sasuke like this, even on probation.

His confusion is more obvious now. "What's the mission?"

Unwilling to explain it yet again, she just pushes the file over to him. He reads over the entire thing before saying, "Is this in code?"

"It's not," she says, and still can't believe this is actually happening, either. "The headmaster was a good friend the Sandaime. There's no one in any of these countries that the two of you are safe, and the Council's insistent you're hidden away so no one can find you. The only way to leave with the tools available to these foreigners. You're going to have two weeks. With your eyes, you can learn and memorize quick enough. The books here should explain the differences, and their language. It's going to be up to you to teach these to your teammates."

From the pinched look on his face, it's painfully obvious he's having trouble believing her. In a much kinder tone than she'd normally use, she tells him, "I'm not lying just to send you away, as farfetched as it sounds. Sasuke, this is make sure Orochimaru will never get you again. And he won't. I swear."

Though it's been a year, he still doesn't react well to even hearing Orochimaru's name, and she's not offended when all he does it nod. When they were kids, her old teammate had always been a little off, but no one ever thought he'd end up the way he is now, and the younger generation of Konoha is paying the price. More specifically, Sasuke is. She's taken a certain amount of interest in him ever since he returned because, on some level, she feels like she should've been able to stop Orochimaru from turning into this. The interest's been noted, too; it was the cause behind the initial complaint about allowing him to become a jonin. She definitely heard the word "projecting" thrown around once or twice.

While that might be an exaggeration, and she might still want Team Kakashi all here, she's telling the truth. Orochimaru's never touching this kid again.

"You're dismissed," she says. "You and your team will meet back here in fourteens at eleven in the morning, sharp. Don't be late."

That was easier than expected, she thinks. Now she has to break the news to Naruto and Sakura, so she better prepare herself for the worst.

.

Going over the language first seems like a good idea, since the books are mostly in English, and with the Sharingan, it isn't too difficult to pick it up. Teaching anyone else is going to be a pain, but Sakura won't have that much trouble, and she can help with Naruto. Going on this mission still seems pointless as fuck, but Tsunade was genuinely angry, so Sasuke's at least pretty sure this isn't some weird, elaborate plan to kick them out. Running away isn't really how he likes to solve his problems, and this just brings him further away from Itachi, but it could be worse. This might just give him a chance to wait out Orochimaru's death instead of worrying about the next attack, and in that case, Sasuke really doesn't care about his pride. He never wants to feel those hands on him again.

Magic also makes a startling amount of sense, he finds when he can actually read the other books. It's not as fairy tale as Sakura's favorite childhood stories she's told him once or twice. Apparently it's an advanced form of chakra, tightly condensed inside a person's body instead of loose, which means that, outside of small children not done growing or people with an incredible amount of skill and practice, it takes an instrument to release. Not too different from what he does when he charges his chokuto with his Chidori, really. This also allows for more versatility that doesn't fully develop until later in life, so while he thinks the supposed hang up on childhood is as pointless as this mission, it has some vein of logic to it. Even so, it really doesn't account for how mundane these witches and wizards are starting to sound.

There's one book, written in in his language, that explains magic is a kekkei genkai, and despite the idea that a witch or wizard can have two "Muggle" parents, they must've had a magical ancestor in their family at some point. Like the Sharingan, it's a recessive trait, and marrying off cousins to preserve bloodlines isn't unusual. Clans are formed by cousins marrying cousins; if his family had lived, he'd probably be stuck with his second cousin's daughter, only a couple years older him, rather than be allowed to date Sakura. If they ever stop hating each, the Hyuga cousins will probably get thrown together in a few years. Yeah, maybe Sasuke should leave this part out. It's not vital, and anyone not part of a major clan won't understand the point.

Oh, no, he actually has something in common with these fucking clients, and it's not even something good.

The file says it's an infiltration mission, and they're to pretend to be foreign exchange students, which are students from a different school coming over to study for a new cultural experience or something like that. Their goal is to protect the entire student and staff population, but put a particular focus on some kid named Harry Potter roughly the same age as Sasuke, and other members of something called the Order of the Phoenix. While this sounds too easy to be labelled an A-ranking mission, he's not complaining. If he had to put a B-ranking or lower on file right after becoming a jonin - or ANBU on probation - he might just keel over from shame.

Voldemort and his Death Eaters sound a lot like if Orochimaru and the Akatsuki joined forces, which is a horrifying thought, and from what Sasuke can gather, Harry's basically him: an enemy obsessed with snakes marked him, and keeps trying to get at him. Order of the Phoenix members are allowed to know who Team Seven really is, even if the rest of the staff and students can't, but Sasuke's keeping this similarity to himself. The last thing he needs is for someone to try to _bond_ with him - even if they are supposed to befriend the main clients for the sake of "easier access." Talking to people still doesn't seem to be a skill Sasuke's acquired.

It doesn't say whose house they're going to be staying at until the school year begins, because they aren't starting on the first day, which must mean this Dum - Albus Dumbledore hasn't found anyone yet. Oh, the names are going to be a joy. According to the language books, they don't use honorifics, either, but instead words like "mister" and "miss," which seem to represent marital status, and Sasuke doesn't really get the point. Maybe when he gets there he will, but they weren't explained very well. And if he doesn't get it, making Naruto and Sakura understand will be even harder.

Right as he finishes the fifth book, the front door opens, and Kakashi's so used dealing with random weapons fly at his face that he doesn't look concerned as he shuts the door, the kunai he caught still in hand. "It's been a while since I got a hello like this," he says, dropping his pack to the floor. "Long day?"

After Sasuke returned to Konoha, he was in the hospital for two weeks, and one of his panic attacks was bad enough he accidentally released a fully body Chidori, and close to killed three medical-nin. For what even he considers obvious reasons, he wasn't allowed to live on his own after that, and somehow got pawned off to Kakashi. By now, they've grown used to each other, but in the beginning Sasuke was enough of a mess that he accidentally almost killed Kakashi, too, more than a few times. It's been about a solid two months since a startled weapon incident, though, so this probably counts as a "regression" of "progress."

As he deactivates the Sharingan, he answers, "Naruto, Sakura, and I are going to be gone. For a year."

"I know," Kakashi says. "I ran into them on the way here. Naruto already gave me the full 'I can take care of myself' speech. Didn't tell me what the mission was, though."

Sasuke holds up the file. "It's not classified."

After a minute of flipping through, Kakashi asks, "Is this code?" and Sasuke almost laughs.

"No," he says. "We really have to act like students."

That's what's tripping him up more than anything else. He's spent most of his life alone, so the thought of spending twenty-four seven around a bunch of kids isn't a good one. Though he's usually with people now, it's never more than three at any given time.

Kakashi drops the file on the end table and takes at the far side of the couch, forcing Sasuke to sit up. "The thing about infiltration missions," Kakashi says, "is that they're both harder and easier than you think. Keeping up a persona is exhausting, but civilians have a tendency to take what they see at face value at believe that. Shinobi are taught to see more than just what they want to see, but I doubt a bunch of schoolchildren have that luxury."

As the highest rank, Sasuke's the leader, and he can't afford to fuck up just because he can't blend in. Naruto and Sakura will be fine, even if they don't have a Sharingan to teach them a language in a day. In the month they have before the official mission begins, they need to learn magic, too. "Yeah, I'd play shy if I didn't need to act as _translator_ for the first couple of weeks," Sasuke says, mouth twisting down.

Instead of answering, Kakashi turns, picking the porcelain hawk mask off the table, and says, "Is this yours?" Sasuke nods. "It shouldn't have it out in open view."

"You make it sound like anyone other than you, or the people I'm working with are going to enter this room," he says, and picks up his sixth book. "Besides, it's for the mission. I didn't take the test or anything."

"That's not what I thought." There's a short silence, and Sasuke reactivates the Sharingan, fiddling with the corner of one of the middle pages of _A Hogwarts, A History_. "If looking at this bothering you, keep in mind that at least you won't have to go anywhere near it during the mission."

Sasuke jerks his head up. "It's not bothering me."

That's not true, and after living together for a year, Kakashi can easily see it, too. He relents before an argument can even start, though, which Sasuke appreciates, and says, "I'll let you get back to studying. Are you here tonight, or over Sakura's?"

With a shrug, he answers, "Depends on when I finish this."

As Kakashi stands, he says, "Go in the morning, and get some sleep. If those bags under your eyes get any worse, you're going to start looking like Naruto's panda hat."

"Fuck you, too."

"Eh, you'll miss me."

Even though he's right, Sasuke's not going to say it. When he doesn't get an answer, Kakashi walks away, and Sasuke turns his focus back to the book.

.

With his Sharingan, it took Sasuke almost two days to learn English, four days to finish all the books in total, and Sakura and Naruto don't have the luxury of some magical kekkei genkai to help speed along their bilingualism. Did Tsunade really think she was going to be able to pull this off?

For all Sakura's intelligence, the English language seems to be eluding her. She gets the grammar, she gets the rules, she's just not getting the vocabulary. "It's weird," she says, frustrated, as she looks down at all the practice sheets she drew up scattered across the floor of her apartment, "because I understand it when I'm reading it, I just can't seem to remember it when I actually need to say it."

Maybe once they're living with native speakers, she'll have an easier time picking it up. Naruto's going the very clever route and using clones to help accelerate learning, but he's having the opposite problem. Speaking is a lot easier for him than reading and writing, apparently. Whoever created the English language hopefully died some horrible, bloody death, because no one deserves to deal with something this difficult in their day to day lives.

"I was like that as a kid," Sasuke says, surprising her, because he never talks about his childhood. "It annoyed my parents because I wasn't learning fast enough."

Well, it's not that he wasn't learning fast enough, it was just that he was learning differently, and really, the few times he does talk about his family makes her think they weren't such good people. "I learned how to read faster than normal because I was jealous my older cousin could and I couldn't," she says, and for a second there, he actually smiles. "How are you not great at this, Naruto? Didn't you teach yourself?"

Without looking up from the worksheet he's focusing on, he answers, "Kind of. Iruka helped. Got good at speaking, not so much at writing. That's why my handwriting sucks."

Sakura's handwriting, alternatively, is the sort Academy teachers loved. Sasuke's sits somewhere in the middle. "Please tell me magic isn't as hard to understand as English."

"Everything is easy after this."

That's good at least, but not particularly comforting, because it means she at least needs to be able to string a sentence together first. According to the file Tsunade gave her, they're going to need to learn real magic, too, not just the principles of it, but Sakura's always been good at control. She doubts it'll be much harder than a chakra scalpel.

In the English alphabet, there are twenty-six letters, but you would never know that from listening to it. The number of sounds are ridiculous. How does 'a' in the middle of a word with 'e' at the end routinely make the same sound as 'ea?' It just doesn't make sense. And then there's that whole thing about soft vowels and hard vowels, and how c's and s's sound the same, but so can c's and k's, and all those silent letters. Someone teaches this to the average, everyday three-year-old?

She just gained so much respected for her clients and charges.

"I know!" Naruto says suddenly, all his clones disappearing as he spins around. "How about we just spend the next ten days speaking to each other in English? That should speed Sakura up for speaking, and it won't sound so weird when Sasuke has to use all the other words to explain stuff."

While that's a good idea, she knows she's about to blush her whole way through the next seven days because she's just _so bad_. Being terrible at something isn't a feeling she's used to. "That's going to take some translating, still," she says, "but sure, I'll do it."

Then Sasuke says something, and it just sounds like noise. From the pinched look on Naruto's face, he's not much better off than she is. "I said 'good morning, how are you?' You two are hopeless."

"Is that any way to talk to your girlfriend, Sasuke-kun?"

All she gets in answer is an eye roll. What a stunning display of leadership skills. She's still having trouble getting over that Sasuke is leading their squad as not just a jonin, but as an ANBU. Even if it's a total lie for an absolute bullshit reason, that's really cool.

She adjusts herself, pressing against his side, and he pulls her closer by moving an arm around her waist. He's not really into public displays of affection, but the only one here is Naruto, who's practically an extension of them anyway. "Starting tomorrow," she says. "We'll start out by saying _good morning_, and see where it goes from there. Until then, more studying."

After they all agree on that, she settles herself more comfortably, and prepares herself for a long night.

.

On the final day, Team Kakashi, minus its namesake, show up in the Hokage's office on time, bags full of civilian clothing largely bought less a week early slung over their backs, and all look about as unhappy as expected. "This thing is supposed to go off any minute," Tsunade tells her miserable bunch of favorites, throwing an empty glass of sake at Sakura. "I'm sure you've all heard of what a 'portkey' is by now."

As they all crowd around it, getting as good a grip as they can, Sakura answers, "Yes, Tsunade-sama," and one of the worst things about this is losing her for a year.

"We'll contact you within our first days at the school," Sasuke adds. "What time is this -"

Before he has the chance to finish, they disappear in a flash more abrupt than a Shunshin. Like that, Tsunade's alone in her office, down three of her best, and there's something particularly unfair in the fact that she didn't get to say goodbye.


End file.
